Gems of War (2014)

Gemhammer:
If it moves, KILL IT!
If it might move, KILL IT!
If it CAN'T move, kill it ANYWAY.
Most of all… Living is OPTIONAL!

Herald of Chaos: Now… To approach my Master, you must be worthy.
Hero: Worthy?
Herald of Chaos: First he will test you. Then he will meet with you.
Hero: And if I fail?
Herald of Chaos: Do NOT fail. That is all I shall say.
Hero: Hmm… Very well.
Herald of Chaos: First, you must face what you fear the most.
Hero: Clowns?

(…)

Herald of Chaos: You fear… Goblins?
Hero: Doesn't everyone?
Herald of Chaos: Truth be told, I am terrified of them too.
Hero: My point exactly.

Tyri: Come on! We're going to meet my father!
Hero: But why?
Tyri: I already told you! But you were busy saving the world or something.
Hero: Tell me again.
Tyri: Alright! I have Skullbeard's treasure map. Dad will be SO excited.
Hero: Not again…

Lil' Johnny Bronze: Arrr! 'Tis not a storm we're seekin', 'tis the Maelstrom!
Hero: Maelstrom?
Lil' Johnny Bronze: Aye! A whirlpool bigger than a Dwarf King's Belly!
Hero: Oh…
Tyri: I've never been in a whirlpool before.
Hero: Me neither.
Marid: Why are we even thinking about going in there?
Hero: Good point.

Lil' Johnny Bronze: What's that in the water up ahead? Can ye see?
Hero: I don't know.
Lil' Johnny Bronze: It couldn't be… That's just a myth!
Hero: What is?
Marid: Are they… TENTACLES?
Hero: I think so.
Lil' Johnny Bronze: Aye, lad. I think it be a KRAKEN!

Lil' Johnny Bronze: Har! Ye did it! Ye're a true Corsair now!
Hero: Excellent.
Lil' Johnny Bronze: Now fer ye name… Let's see… What did ye fight?
Hero: Well…
Lil' Johnny Bronze: Smelly things, parrots, creepy crawlies, and a Kraken!
Hero: That's right.
Lil' Johnny Bronze: I have it! Cap'n Stinky Parrot-Legs the Squidslayer!
Hero: Really?

Marid: Sharks? In the desert? I don't like this place at all!

Marid: Tyri? What did you just pick up?
Hero: What?
Tyri: Oh, it's just a lamp. It's so pretty though! It needs polishing.
Hero: Tyri, no!
Tyri: Look how it shines up! It's like magic!
Hero: Oh, dear.

Herald of Chaos: You cannot defeat the Infernal King. He is immortal.
Hero: We'll see…

I had a strangely vivid dream about the number 3.